


What happened here

by Keenir



Category: iZombie (TV)
Genre: Full Zombie Rage, Gen, Live and Let Clive, Missing Scene, Spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-08
Updated: 2015-04-08
Packaged: 2018-03-21 20:54:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 510
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3704569
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Keenir/pseuds/Keenir
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Liv's thoughts about what transpired in that fight scene.  <br/>...and hints of past fights.</p>
            </blockquote>





	What happened here

What I did to A.J. in my apartment...Its happened to me before. Sort of.

Before today, I tried my utmost to be dispassionate and detached about what's happening when I go into Full Zombie Rage, my eyes red and unpleasant, vein-like things coloring my temples. Actually I try not to think about it, and retake control as soon as I can. In that veritable walk-in closet of artwork, I grabbed back control of myself as soon as I wasn't being held by that creep. I admit I may've handed over the wheel when my once-newfound-best friend was about to either eat or zombify Ravi...and then I fought off - I kept pushing aside - 

Me. I was fighting myself.

You see, the Full Zombie Rage isn't run with adrenaline, or the Id or the Ego, or anything like that. Oh no, its worse.

I've told Ravi my observation that nowadays, I'm a stomach, a person who's mostly hungry. I left out the salient fact that when I go Full Zombie Rage mode, that's who is running things: my hunger. My appetite. Me.

Not something I like thinking about, even in the wake of saving one of my few remaining friends. Or my brother, annoying little pest that he can be.

When Ravi's life was threatened, I tried not to think about what I was doing - possibly in part because at the time I was leaping what felt like twenty feet down. 

This time, oh no, this time I was completely aware; I knew I couldn't get up and stop A.J. in time, so I just...

It wasn't even like handing over control to someone else, tossing my car keys to a pal.

No, I knew what I had to do - _stop him, stop him, save my brother, stop him_ \- and it was like the keys were in my hand and they turned the tiniest bit more than they ever had; and my engines purred in a gear I never used to have. And Sammy went away for a while, leaving me alone in my mind with my hunger. Hunger. Zombie hunger. _Take down. Pin. Cripple to immobility._ Dead and alive didn't really matter to my hunger...at least, not as far as I could tell. 

Maybe it was the lingering bits of Sammy in me, maybe echoes of past meals too, but I would've killed A.J. to protect my brother, right then and there. Hunger saw my protectiveness, and went _and stop threat_ , stopping A.J. with all the power my undead muscle mass could bring to bear. Followed by a hearty regimen of punches for good measure.

And when my brother was at the bedroom door, talking, the engines dialed back, and it was back to normal.

Normal for me. For how I am these days.

How long before my hunger decides it doesn't want to curl up and wait til its needed again? Is that something I genuinely need to worry about, or am I still paranoid?

_Calm. Rest._

Yeah, easy for you to say.


End file.
